


Unreleased OVA: The Mystery of Elf-San

by lysscor



Series: 25 Days of Christmas [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Christmas, Elf on the Shelf, Humor, Other, chaotic - Freeform, this isn't crack but.... it's almost crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:00:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21663316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lysscor/pseuds/lysscor
Summary: The first time the creepy elf doll was spotted in the club room, on the first of December, it wasn’t that weird.But with the Karasuno volleyball team, "not that weird" becomes "completely baffling" at breakneck speeds.
Series: 25 Days of Christmas [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1548013
Comments: 5
Kudos: 26





	Unreleased OVA: The Mystery of Elf-San

**Author's Note:**

> there's not a single brain cell in this fic i had so much fun writing it  
> Today's prompt: Elf on the Shelf

The first time the creepy elf doll was spotted in the club room, on the first of December, it wasn’t  _ that _ weird. 

That’s not to say it wasn’t weird at all, of course - it was a creepy elf doll. It was, by its very nature,  _ weird _ . But, by the Karasuno Volleyball Club standards, it was… well, it wasn’t any stranger than last week, when Nishinoya had gotten stuck in a locker because he and Tanaka had wanted to know whether he would fit. (He did, but only just.) 

Besides, it wasn’t  _ doing _ anything especially strange. It was just sitting there on the table, legs crossed politely and a book open behind it.

Hinata, naturally, was the first to react, pointing at the elf and practically bouncing up and down in excitement. “It’s the Elf on the Shelf!”

Kageyama gave him a look somewhere just north of disgust. “It’s on the  _ table _ , dumbass. Not the shelf.”

“No, no, Elf on the Shelf is what it’s  _ called _ . We have one at home.”

The team crowded around the Elf, examining it from all angles as Hinata recited the story behind it, seemingly from memory.

Apparently, it was supposed to be one of Santa’s elves, here to watch children and make sure they were behaving. At night, it would return to the North Pole to report to Santa Clause on its observations. Children weren’t supposed to touch the Elf, for it would rub off his magic and make it impossible for him to return home.

“I mean, obviously it isn’t for real,” Hinata added, somewhat glumly. “It’s just the parents that move it to a different spot at night. But it’s still fun.”

_ Fun _ was not quite the word most of his teammates would have used to describe the Elf. Its huge eyes and painted smile toed the line between cute and terrifying, which of course prompted a team-wide debate (Kageyama and Tanaka formed an unlikely alliance with Tsukishima on the side of “horrific” against Nishinoya, Yamaguchi, and Hinata, who argued vehemently that it was adorable). Daichi eventually had to step in to diffuse the situation just so they could get to practice. 

The second day was  _ slightly _ weirder. True to its name, the elf had taken residence on one of the club room’s shelves, arms wrapped around an empty water bottle and still with its creepy painted smile (because yes, it  _ was _ creepy, no matter what Nishinoya continued to insist). The weirder part, however, was the note beside it.

_ Remember to keep the club room clean _ , it read, in an unfamiliar handwriting.

“It looks like Yachi’s,” Hinata said, squinting.

“No it doesn’t, idiot,” Kageyama scowled. “Hers is more loopy than that. That looks more like Tsukishima’s.”

“Tsukki’s writing doesn’t look like that,” Yamaguchi piped up. 

“It doesn’t,” Tsukishima agreed. “Besides, I didn’t write that.”

“Well then who did?”

The team looked at each other, frowns forming on faces as the question, seemingly for the first time, settled itself in their heads.  _ Who did? _

“My mom is the one who moves the Elf on the Shelf at home,” Hinata offered. “So it’s a mom-like thing to do.”

“Suga, then?”

He waved his hands. “Hey, I don’t know any more about this than you guys. Daichi?”

The captain shrugged. “I’d never even heard of the Elf on the Shelf until yesterday.”

“Well, if it wasn’t any of us,” said Tanaka. “Who could it be?”

“A ghost?” offered Kageyama.

“Idiot,” Tsukishima snorted. “Obviously it’s one of the managers.”

“Kiyoko-san!” exclaimed Tanaka and Nishinoya as one, but Suga was already shaking his head.

“No,” he said. “Her writing doesn’t look like that. She draws her ‘remember’ kanji differently, see?”

“Yachi then?”

“Asahi, we already said it wasn’t Yachi.”

“Well then who?”

“Yeah, who?”

“Who was it?”

And thus the mystery of the Elf on the Shelf was born.

***

With the Elf, every day became stranger than the last - and that was saying something. It seemed that the Elf (who Hinata and Nishinoya had cleverly named Elf-San) found more outrageous positions with each passing day. And the stranger the positions, the more determined the team became to solve the mystery. Thus, the first few minutes of practice was often spent in a cacophony of theories and accusations, which inevitably devolved into such bickering that Daichi had to pull out his Captain Voice. 

The third day, Elf-San had had his arms and legs wrapped around a volleyball from the bin. The fourth, he was hanging upside down from the curtain rod. The fifth day found him sitting atop the lightbulb, and on the sixth, there was no sign of him - until Tanaka opened his gym bag and saw him sitting there, right on top of his practice gear. The seventh and eighth were the weekend, but on the ninth the club was back - and so was Elf-San. 

Even Tsukishima was invested in the mystery at this point, though anyone who didn’t know him as well as the team did would never mistake his passive suggestions and derisive comments on others' theories for genuine interest.

The theories, too, were getting wilder. Some (Hinata, Kageyama, and Yamaguchi) were convinced Elf-San was haunted and moving on his own. Others (Tsukishima, Daichi, and Noya) thought it must be someone on the team, who was simply a  _ very _ convincing actor (this suggestion had, of course, prompted such a rapid flurry of accusations toward Tsukishima that the Captain Voice had had to make a much earlier appearance than usual). Others still (Suga, Asahi, and Ennoshita) insisted it must be one of the managers or coaches, or someone not on the team. 

All in all, strife and suspicion had never been so abundant for the Karasuno volleyball team. It had gotten so bad that Kageyama was half convinced Oikawa must be the one behind it, as an underhanded method to sabotage their team.

(He voiced this, once, to Hinata, who was so sure it was impossible that Kageyama had decided not to bring it up to anyone else. Ever.)

(... but that didn’t mean he’d stop believing it.)

***

Two weeks had passed since Elf-San’s first appearance. Two weeks of more and more baffling positions. Two weeks of bickering and theorizing and confusion. 

Yamaguchi had taken to brainstorming in his notebook during classes. Tanaka had a full blown conspiracy board, complete with red thread. Hinata and Kageyama’s lunchtime conversations now consisted of nothing but theories surrounding Elf-San and the true culprit behind his actions, which almost always ended in arguments (Hinata was still sure it was a ghost, and Kageyama was still sure it was Oikawa. Each was vehemently opposed to the other’s theory). 

“I know!” said Nishinoya as the team was changing after practice. Today, Elf-San had been entangled in the volleyball net, arms and legs sticking out at strange angles. Yamaguchi had accidentally hit him with a failed serve halfway through practice, which resulted in half the team screeching as if he’d just murdered an innocent kitten. “We can set up a hidden camera in the club room. That way we can see who’s really behind it.”

“What good will that be?” Tsukishima asked. “If we all know about the camera, the culprit will just be able to avoid being seen by it.”

“That’s only if it’s one of us,” Asahi said. “Which I don’t think it is.”

“Of course you don’t,” said Tsukishima. “You’re too trusting.”

“I think the camera is a good idea.” Hinata beamed. The chance of catching a real ghost on camera was way too good to pass up.

“Me too,” added Kageyama. The chance of getting irrefutable proof that Oikawa was behind this was way too good to pass up.

“It can’t hurt,” added Yamaguchi, and smiled apologetically at the look of betrayal Tsukishima shot him. “We can angle it to that it shows the door, so it’s impossible for someone to hide even if they do know where it is.”

“So it’s settled, then?” asked Suga. “We’ll set up a camera tonight, and we can check the footage before practice tomorrow.”

There was a smattering of nods and noises of agreement. 

“Daichi, you have a friend in the AV club, right? Can you get us a camera?”

Daichi nodded seriously. “I can try.”

Tanaka clapped a hand on his shoulder with all the intensity of a general sending a man to the battlefield. “That’s all we can ask of you.”

The team looked around at each other somberly. Anyone watching would have thought they were discussing something far more serious than a Christmas elf doll. And to them, it was. No longer was this a lighthearted guessing game. This had become the most pressing mystery any of them had ever experienced. This was for more than just answers - this was for  _ pride _ . 

“This time tomorrow,” said Daichi. “The mystery of Elf-San will finally be solved.”

And it would.

… wouldn’t it?

***

“A camera, hmm? I wonder how I’ll be able to pull this one off…”

***

The anticipation was palpable as the team crowded around Suga’s laptop in the club room. The hard drive of the camera footage had been inserted, and they were watching the loading screen with impressive focus. No one was breathing.

Finally, the video began. It started with Daichi’s face, focused as he adjusted the camera. His lips moved silently - the camera they’d acquired didn’t record sound - and he took a slow step back, his hands hovering in the air poised to catch the camera should it fall. After a second, he seemed satisfied that it wouldn’t, and he grinned, turning away from the camera and revealing the rest of the team standing anxiously behind him. Lips moved, and high fives were exchanged, and one by one they began to file out of the room. Suga was the last to leave, shutting off the light and glancing one last time at the camera before shutting the door behind him.

The team edged forward in their seats, watching the screen intently. The camera has been placed on the shelf near the window, so that nearly the entire room was visible - including the door, and including the table where the elf had been placed after practice that day, facing the camera head-on. 

“His smile is even scarier in the dark,” Asahi mumbled. 

“Shh,” several people snapped.

They watched.

For a long time, nothing happened. 

And then, the camera  _ moved _ . 

It was subtle - barely an inch to the left - but it was abrupt enough that half the boys let out gasps of surprise. And then it jolted again. And once more.

“What the hell,” Tanaka whispered.

And then, the camera fell off the shelf. Collectively, the entire team jolted in shock.

“I-i-it’s a ghost!” said Hinata. His face was pale. “I knew it was a ghost!”

“Ghosts don’t exist,” Tsukishima said - but he, too, looked afraid, and his voice lacked its usual derisive note. 

“Well then, how do you explain that?” asked Nishinoya. “It’s a ghost; it has to be.”

“Guys?” Yamaguchi squeaked. His eyes were still glued to the laptop screen, wide with fear. “Guys, I think I just saw something move.”

The room fell silent. Slowly, nervously, all eyes turned back to the screen.

The camera had landed on its side; the image on the screen was that of the legs of the table at which they now sat, rotated ninety degrees. There was no sign of the movement Yamaguchi had seen - for he  _ had _ seen something move; of that he was certain - and they watched with bated breath, waiting for something -  _ anything _ \- to happen.

And then Elf-San’s smile filled the screen.

Everybody screamed.

***

“I can’t  _ believe _ we managed that.”

“I know. I was sure they had us when Yamaguchi saw your legs.”

“Good thing it wasn’t Tsukishima, right?” He laughed. “I personally thought we were done for when they thought of the camera.”

“We would have been, if not for your plan.” Daichi shook his head admiringly. “You’re a genius, Suga. An evil one - but a genius.”

Suga grinned. “I know.”

They were in Daichi’s bedroom, homework spread around them. Suga was stretched out across the bed amidst a mess of papers and textbooks. Daichi was at his desk, organized as usual.

“D’you think we should tell them it was us?” he asked.

Suga considered that, tapping his pencil against his chin. “Nah,” he said finally. “This is too much fun. Let’s give it another few days and see if they figure it out on their own. Besides -” He gave a wicked grin. “- I have a  _ great  _ idea for tomorrow…”

**Author's Note:**

> if anyone is wondering how exactly they pulled it of...
> 
> 1\. Daichi opened the window, which wasn't visible to the camera (this, of course, was by design)  
> 2\. Daichi used a long stick to nudge the camera off the shelf, and then texted Suga, positioned outside the club room, to let him know it was done.  
> 3\. Suga entered the room, stepped out of the camera's view, took Elf-San off the table, and placed him directly in front of the camera. He then turned the camera off, put it back on the shelf, and put Elf-San next to it. 
> 
> There were many things that could have gone wrong with this plan, but, through the power of fiction, none of them did. 
> 
> See you guys tomorrow for Day 5 of the 25 Days of Christmas Writing Challenge!! You can find the full prompt list on my instagram, @lysscorwriting, if you're interested in joining!!


End file.
